Small Town Fun

Today was a proud mommy moment for me. A week ago I was told that I should enter Emmie into the 4th annual Miss Strawberry Shortcake Pageant as part of the Strawberry Festival in South Windsor, CT. Basically the idea was to dress up your kid with a strawberry theme and the winner would be chosen for the best look and appearance to go along with the theme of the festival. I'm not a super creative person but I had an idea to make a strawberry tutu and make that the main focus of her outfit. The night I finished the tutu I was giddy and super excited about how it turned out. This morning was the pageant and it was a lot of fun. There were 21 contestants in Em's age group and she was part of the top 6. I think she should of won, of course, but even though she didn't I was so proud of how well she put on her show for the judges. I literally was in tears because she was so cute. Now that I know what the competition is like I will be better prepared for next year. Enjoy the short video below of Emmie's pageant debut.

I Am A Bad Mom (we all have those days right?)

To warn all who read this, my thoughts for this post are kind of scattered and long winded....but please keep reading if you want to feel my pain and then tell me I am not alone!
Yesterday was a long, rough day for us. Ever since we moved to CT I have been working part-time from home. It has been great for me because it pushes me to think, I get to have more conversations with adults, it also gives me something fun to do (besides housework) when Em is sleeping, plus I am learning a lot. Well for some reason yesterday was not one of those fun days. Maybe it was because I worked for 7 hrs in the morning when I am only supposed to work two; the two hours while my baby is sleeping. Or maybe it was because Em was crying A LOT which she doesn't normally do, or maybe it was because there were a lot of "stupid" issues I was dealing with that shouldn't have needed dealing with. At the end of the day (after my second shift of work) and once Em was asleep, I broke down and felt SO guilty for how the day went. I can't recall spending any quality time with my baby, I worked while tears flowed down her cheeks, and I may have been a little frustrated with her. At first I thought she was just wanting attention (she should have my attention), but then I noticed that she kept biting on her fingers and pointing to the back of her mouth and she really only acts up when she is teething, but I thought she had all of her teeth in. After speaking with my wise friend Anne I realized that she could be getting her second molars, and sure enough I felt in the back of her mouth and her gums were swollen and I could feel the teeth below the surface. Wow, drive the dagger into my heart a little further. Not only was I not playing and spending precious time with my daughter but I was also making her suffer through the pain of getting teeth in! See how the guilt kept coming as I reflected on my day. I know I am not the only one that has felt this way, I guess we have these kind of days to remind us of how much we should treasure the time we have with our children; teaching them, laughing with them and watching them discover new things. I love my daughter more than I can express and made it a goal of mine for today (one day at a time) to give her all of my attention and to make it a special day for the two of us. Even though I still have to work, I have made sure to play and laugh and soak in the JOY of having my daughter around.